All this that you see here, that’s not me. Let my actions not define me today for I am much more, and I daresay, much better than this.
I was left to figure out ‘my life’- high and dry.
‘Go to hell’ – his last words to me before he slammed the door shut. Hell doesn’t seem all that bad actually.
And as far as the drugs are concerned, I don’t do them to forget him. I occasionally do them to forget myself.
Bed time’s over. I’m welcomed by reality. Reality that’s silently ticking away – second after second.
Books don’t comfort me any more. Movies don’t entertain even minutely. I can’t even go back to being what I was a few weeks ago. He’s left me in a labyrinth daring me to find the right way out.
You should call him – they suggested. I was amused. You see, I can’t see forgiveness if he can’t see the crime.
I’ve now realized I don’t affect him enough to change the way he thinks. Not trying anymore. Not sulking anymore.
Play your part right. Trust yourself. Worked for me. I never felt I could actually overcome grief. I did.
I feel like I’m in my best senses presently. I’ve surrendered myself to life. Letting go of my emotions never felt this good. You should try it sometime.
These past few weeks have been nothing short of a race. I’d been trying to juxtapose my griefs and laughter, trying to find which one outweighs the other. I couldn’t.
Not like I’m unhappy though. Things that used to make me happy still make me smile. And I smile too! Just need to attach reasons behind it.
I feel stronger, both mentally and emotionally. Who knows – maybe tomorrow, I’ll find a way out of this maze. Maybe tomorrow, my laughter will be louder than my cries.
Let’s wait for tomorrow, shall we?
I’d like to thank Surabhi for being so amazing during the shoot. She’s ever so fun to work with! You can find her blog here.